sneak attack !

We shall address the presence of one of the many demons within us men that have long afflicted us in our romantic relationships (be it a crush, normal romantic relationship, marriage, etc). Insecurity.

It pushes its offensive strategy and tactics against us in many forms (especially in many unfavorable, unideal situations/times with our spouse/girlfriend/crush, etc), often scouting for an unprotected flank to breach through our most personal vulnerable point.

More often than not, the situation would start out like this......... there's bound to be imperfect moments where the man in the relationship would feel that he is not fully treasured/liked/loved/adored for who he is or is taken for granted, and he would question his own worth in himself and his lady's eyes. We see it as a big dent to our ego and its a problem for us.

Men in response to this would usually spend time alone, withdrawing away emotionally and mentally, prefering to solve our problems by focusing on it and dwelling on the problem at hand. At such times, he is incapable of giving a woman the attention and feelings that she normally receives and certainly deserves. It is difficult for women to deal with such situations, as they depend on constant communication for support and being emotionally involved in the relationship.

And when it happens, there are opportunities where the demon could sow his seeds, both inside the male and female in the relationship. By growing feelings of lack of mutual trust...... understanding, feelings of neglect, sometimes paranoia and fear. Don't forget we have our masculine ego at times that just makes things worse.

At our low/lowest point, there is a need for us to exorcise this demon, to exorcise this specific demon with assurance, closure and acceptance. Before it starts to weaken the relationship.

Although at times we (men) remain bitter about the way we were ignored, treated, shelved aside for the time being.... but at the same time, we know deep down inside of us, you hold the key to setting us free from our instinctive reaction to withdraw away.

Though we do retreat away, to work things out inside ourselves in our life together, from time to time, we'd love to recieve your much needed reassurance, knowing that we're still being loved/adored for who we are.
The warm gesture of appreciation for us, might/would make us remove away our tendency to being emotionally numb/unfeeling and to be more understanding, sensitive to your emotional needs.
The right words that cuts away the affliction of insecurity that plague our heart, might/would touch our hearts to turn away from our wretched state and go back to the way things should rightfully be. Maybe in doing so, we'll slowly begin to appreciate the small little things that you say and do for us, and perhaps love you even more for it.

It's tricky having to approach us at the right time, while being emotionally withdrawn. However, I always believed in perfect timing, striking when the iron is hot. It is more of an intuition of knowing what must be done at any specific moment in life. I believe women are very much more capable in this aspect, much more than men. We could learn a thing or two from the way women sense things around them, to apply it to everything we do, and do it better.

And thereafter, we could start working things out, making sure that it won't happen again.