Coin (Part 2)

Author's note: The usage of metaphors is frequent on this article. While feedback has been given to me to simplify my usage of the English Language, I am trying to keep my articles as simple as I can to the best of my ability.

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The third side to a coin:

Can you guess where does the third side of a coin resides ?

If you guessed that it's third side resides on its edge, you're right.

Some men, attempt to "balance" themselves, to be a perfect blend of who they really are, and the person that they have become. In metaphorical terms, to expose both sides of the coin.



For some men, it is an easy feat doing this. Being true to his own personality and at the same time, fulfilling the demands of what the people around him require of him as a man. I believe that there are a lot of popular contemporary fictional heroes who are like that, or at least try to maintain that supposed balance. Like James Bond, whose calculative, deviant charm can only be resisted by the likes of his Superior: M, who reads him like a open book. Most of the time, James balances himself without much difficulty.

Of course, there is a modestly large number of men, who attempt to be like that. It isn't easy. Often, we would fail this "balancing act", wondering why we could not do it with ease.

Personally, i have naturally attempt this "balancing act" myself.

I'll speak from my own experiences on my personal attempts, whether if you think i have achieved success or failure (or even make relevant, common sense) is entirely up to you.

I find that attempting to stay in my own "balancing act", places me on a very vulnerable state. Bear with me as i explain a little further.

One side of the coin would weigh much more than the other (My real self would come into conflict with the person i became), and i do find myself caught off balance occasionally, while trying to stay "balanced". And frankly speaking, that isn't something you want others to witness. People would think that you're being somebody that you're not and that can be quite damaging to how people would perceive you as a person.

The most difficult part of this "balancing act" is that, once you really stumble over to fall flat, it is much more challenging to get up and attempt the "balancing act" once more. It really takes a determined, thick skinned, resilient, die-hard man to pick himself up from failure to once again, give it one more try.

Ultimately, the worst undesirable consequence is this........................ because I'm trying maintaining that "balancing act", i know that some of my flaws, incapability and perhaps, my own personal dark secrets would be exposed. And to men like myself, that is unthinkable. It is too painful to let it reside even for a moment in my mind.

Because of our fear of this, we do fight an inner battle to deal with our skeletons in our closet. Because to stay "balanced on the third side of the coin" is to be the best that we can be, when we keep on our toes and be aware of ourselves. Because, if we manage to succeed once.......... after so many failures, we'll naturally carry ourselves well. And we would like our "significant other", no matter who she is, to be proud of that.

Conclusion:

To sum it all up, from my first part and second part of the article, Coin: There are many different sides to a man, we also have our way of being complicated....... to also really discern the person that we really are inside........ to figure out how are we going to deal with ourselves........ to try to reconcile the person that we really are, with the person that we have become, and grow into a different man from that point onwards.

That is the one part of our lives, when we really wish that we were alone to fix ourselves to perfection. This really is one of those moments in a man's life where he is totally vulnerable.

We do not expect you to perfectly understand what we go through, or feel the way we feel, but if you happen to truly, sincerely want to break into our self imposed lonely contemplation and provide emotional reassurance, sincere understanding and unconditional acceptance of who we are, we'll love you a whole lot more for that very thing you've chose to do for us. (Of course, be a little gentle when you do approach us...... it helps a lot to soften us up to let you "in our world".)

Coin (Part 1)

Have you ever found yourself in those short little moments, when you wondered about the man (it could be anyone) in your life sometimes ? About who he really is deep down inside ?

It is hard to find out where a man is coming from, and i know that for women, often do let their thoughts and imagination run and try to picture a man based on their own perceptions.

Well, i might not have all the right answers to the masculine mind or the perfect guideline on personal discernment.................... but perhaps, my first part of my little philosophical guideline rant today might help you just a little.

You see, a man is very much like a coin, not totally, but somewhat similar to it. While a coin has 2 sides to it, a man has 3 sides.

And like a coin, a man would often find himself being either having one side of himself facing upwards for the world to see, while the opposite side facing downwards in complete privacy.

3 sides ! Yes. 3 sides. Now allow me to explain the 3 different sides to a man:

The first side to a coin:

The first side to a man, is the essence of the man that he originally is. The personality that he was born with, his individual psyche, his sense of his own true self.

In the deepest darkest recesses of a man's soul, lies the person that he really is. That is the "first side of a coin". It is deeply embedded in us. We do not wish to show it, preferring to hide it under lock and key. You see, as men, we tend to be modestly vulnerable about this part of ourselves. And this is where our flaws, natural behavior, ego, desires, pride and masculine instincts really reside.

Have you ever felt certain vibes from a man, who is currently or was involved in your life ? (For example) When, perhaps, you felt that he was attracted to you in one way or another ? Maybe.............. it was a vibe that spoke subtle signals to you that he is somewhat sexually interested in you as a woman ? I believe that is our "first side" at work.

Men, or i should say for most men, find that the contemporary social situation in our lives demands that we should be more than what we originally are. And that also means keeping ourselves in check (especially in sexual matters). To grow and to be moulded into what i would say, would be the..........

The second side to a coin:

The second side to a man, is the essence of a man for who he has become. His ambitions, dreams, ideals, personal drive, his intellect, his way of thought forms much of this "side of the coin".
As males come to an age (the age varies from man to man, individualistically) where instinct gives way to reason, a boy would be nudged to slowly become a man.

It is from this point where the real work begins for a man. The drive to prove one's worth, the drive to achieve, to build a sense of worth through accomplishments. This masculine crusade is really much of a battle to prove our worth and perhaps to reassure ourselves that, through such successful efforts, we can compensate for the flaws and failings that we have initially. That's the problem with us, we do not address such personal issues as we ideally should.

Frankly speaking, from this very point as i write, i did imagine myself being a woman and how i would react when i am reading this. I wouldn't be impressed at all. (I know..... I know...... i honestly believe i would sincerely be a very difficult woman if things were DIFFERENT.)

For some members of the "aggressive sex", it is difficult and even daunting because of this "sudden" change. They would cling on to certain aspects of their initial phases of their lives, the times where we could never totally let go of our nostalgia.

After all, i believe that most of us men do have a childish side that allows us to sometimes break free from belittling demands of the environment around us. In some occasionally extreme cases, a few select men grow to use their capabilities of reasoning to justify their personal choice to embrace their "First Side" and freely express it. Personally, i feel that men like that are not really worth much in both style and substance. They, more often than not, have qualities, traits even flaws from their "First Side" that has yet to be refined and grown to fit into the "Second Side".

But what about the "The Third Side of a coin" ? What is it all about ? Stay tuned to find out.